


I Had a Boyfriend

by thefamouscookieeater17



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F, Fluffy and angsty, moonsun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6108040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefamouscookieeater17/pseuds/thefamouscookieeater17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the second part/Solar's POV of the "She Had a Boyfriend" story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Had a Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Hello ~  
> I hope you enjoy Solar's side of the story :3

This is how it started: she’d pester me all day to the point I’d get fed up with her existence, until it actually became charming in a way I can’t quite describe. I began calling her “greasy” and I tried to hide how flustered it actually made me whenever she called me beautiful. And yes, I’d blush at her touch; but mine didn’t seem to have much effect on her.  
  
_“What are you doing?” I had been having my face glued to the mirror of our rehearsal room for quite some time now._  
  
_“I’m checking my skin. I think it has become oily lately and my forehead seems to get bigger by the day.”_  
  
_“Really?” She laughed. “I thought I had been the only one noticing your gigantic forehead!”_  
  
_“Yah, Byul Yi!” I threw my scarf at her and she seemed to laugh even harder._

 _“Seriously, I haven’t met anyone as blind as you.” She got up to leave. “You’re absolutely gorgeous, but it seems you’re the only one who can’t see that.”  
  
She left the rehearsal room and I was simply left there with my cheeks burning as a smile crept into my lips. How was it that I had let myself get into such a situation?_  
  
I grew found of her warmth; her hands locked in mine. I struggled inside, because I longed for her constant presence beside me - even though, I knew how dangerous it was to let such things run freely inside of my chest; especially when they were starting to threaten to burst out at any moment.  
  
_“What did you think? Was I any good? I feel like I messed up somewhere.”_  
  
_“Nope. Flawless as always.” Here it goes again - her words making my heart racing for no reason._

 _“I’m serious, Byul Yi.” I grabbed her hands in a sudden movement and I stared so intensely into her eyes, it seemed she was just as startled as I was because of how close we were. “I really need your honest opinion. I want to get better.”_  
  
_“But you really were great, unnie. I really can’t point a single mistake.” She put a strain of hair behind my ear, the tenderness in her voice having me so weak - wishing I could just melt in her arms. “You should believe more in yourself.”_  
  
_I felt my breathing getting heavier and my chest was burning, ready to explode. All thoughts about whether it was right or wrong didn’t seem to matter much when our lips connected, since I think my mind stopped altogether._  
  
I liked how she’d let me ramble endlessly about topics she didn’t even have any particular interest in; always paying attention to every word regardless. And I enjoyed just as much the way she’d take the time to patiently explain me in detail what I couldn’t understand.  
_  
“Unnie, you need to put your foot more like this and your arm like that.”  
  
“But if I do that, won’t I fall right before we move into the next position?”  
  
“You won’t, if you do it properly. Just try it as I said.” I tried, I fell and she helped me up with a laugh. “You really are hopeless, unnie. Lets try it one more time.”  
  
She smiled with gentleness in her eyes and I wrapped my arms around her waist, snuggling my face against her chest as I mumbled a muffled “Thank you.”  
_  
I loved how she’d pull me into empty rooms and make me beg for touch - how she could just as easily turn submissive at my tongue: her long blonde hair covering her face as she bit on her fist to prevent her moans from coming out too loud; her hand grasping my locks tightly.  
_  
“We need to be quick, rehearsal starts in 40 minutes.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.”  
  
I placed my head between her thighs and she carved her nails on my shoulder._  
  
But I fell in love with her dorky smile; her face wrinkling up around her nose, making her look like a silly bunny. How she’d fill her cheeks with hair whenever she was bored or annoyed; or the way she can go from tapping my teeth, to bringing breakfast to bed.  
  
_“Byul Yi, stop tickling me! I can’t breathe!”  
  
“Okay!” She stopped, pulled my shorts down and then ran out of the bedroom laughing.  
  
“Ugh, you’re so annoying!”  
  
I crawled back into bed and let myself doze off for a bit. She got back a little after, sat at the end of the mattress and petted my head gently. I could swear I had heard her whisper _ those _three words, but it must’ve been me dreaming._  
  
I loved her slender figure and kissing it became my way of making it mine, even if it were nothing but a temporary illusion. I loved wearing her t-shirts, her scent filling my lungs and getting stuck on my skin; the way she’d get absorbed into cooking and wouldn’t even notice me staring at her from the couch – a sudden urge to hold and to be held creeping inside of me. The million excuses I’d find inside of my head just to move over to the kitchen, because I knew she’d end up putting her arms around my waist and kiss me - and that was all I wanted - but it wasn’t like I could just own up to that feeling without guilt.  
  
_“Let me do that. You can’t cook it like this, Byul-ah. It needs more butter.”_

 _“Teach me, oh mighty sunbae!”_  
  
_“Watch and learn, before you become even more helpless than you already are.”_  
  
_She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her shin on my shoulder, observing attentively how I cooked the scrambled eggs. I felt my heart getting heavier, because we both knew it was not like she couldn’t actually cook eggs._

Above all, I loved whenever she’d lie in my arms, allowing me to cuddle her. This was a rare sight, perhaps because she didn’t want to get herself too used to my embrace and I couldn’t exactly blame her for that, now could I?  
  
_“Are you comfortable like this? Am I too heavy?”_  
  
_“No. I’m good, don’t worry.”_  
  
_“You sure? Maybe it’s better if we switch.”_  
  
_“I really am okay like this. Let yourself be.”_  
  
_I held her tightly and she seemed to relax, burying her face deeper against my chest._  
  
However we never said we loved each other. Those words would only haunt us, since I couldn’t simply turn my back on my parents and their expectations; they were all I had - and yet, I was selfish to the point of not letting go, although I saw her heart breaking over and over again because of me.

 _“You’re leaving already?”  
  
“Yeah. I’m having dinner with Oppa today.”  
  
“Oh, I see… have fun.” She faked a big smile and I faked one in return.  
  
My heart was breaking just as much as hers, but it was not like it had the right to.  
  
_ Oppa was a good man with a stable job, he seemed to care enough for me and my parents loved him - they were the ones who introduced us in the first place.  
My conservative and stern, yet caring parents with nothing but good intentions, hoping for a good life with a good family for their daughter - I wonder what they’d do if they knew the kind of sick game I was playing; delving into the abyss of something even society condemns.  
  
_“I already told you, Byul Yi: I don’t think two women should be together. What we have has no place in normal society.”_

 _“If that’s really how you feel, then why do you keep doing this? Just stop seeing me and go marry that Oppa!”_  
  
_“You know I can’t do that!”_  
  
_“Why? Tell me why can’t you just let go?!”_  
  
_“Because I love you. Because - regardless of everything - there’s a part of me that can’t accept loving someone as much as I love you can be wrong.”_  
  
_My words and my tears were nothing but hypocritical and selfish, unlike hers – those were genuine love and pain coming from a caring and honest heart. How could I make myself believe it was wrong to love a human being as gentle as her?_

Something in me wanted these moments to be more than all there was, is and will ever be - even if… I had a boyfriend anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you thought of it ~


End file.
